Sweet Escape: How Chocolate Can Mask Our Feelings, and How to Find Our True Taste

Chocolate. The temptation that calls to us when we’re stressed, sad, or even happy. But why? The answer, as complex as it may be, can often be traced back to our deepest emotional layers. In this blog post, we’re going to dive into how chocolate becomes a coping mechanism and what psychoanalysis can teach us about why we turn to it when we can’t quite connect with our feelings. We’ll also explore some ways to break free from this cycle.
The Pleasure Principle and Chocolate Addiction
Sigmund Freud, the founding father of psychoanalysis, spoke extensively about the „pleasure principle“ — the idea that our behaviors are motivated by the desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain. When we feel anxious, stressed, or unsure of our emotions, reaching for something that brings immediate gratification, like chocolate, is a way of soothing the discomfort.
Chocolate, scientifically known for releasing endorphins in the brain, mimics the pleasure of eating or even being comforted. But the question arises: why does it feel so good when we’re in emotional distress? Could it be more than just sugar and fat?
Freud’s concept of “secondary narcissism” may offer an explanation. In times of emotional conflict or unresolved feelings, we often retreat inwardly, seeking solace in self-soothing mechanisms. This isn’t unlike a child who seeks the comfort of a blanket or a favorite toy when overwhelmed. Chocolate becomes our „blanket.“ It fills the void and, in the moment, helps us feel temporarily comforted — but it doesn’t solve the underlying issue.
Chocolate as a Substitute for Emotional Intimacy
Psychoanalyst Melanie Klein’s theory of object relations might give us further insight. According to Klein, early relationships with caregivers form a template for future emotional attachments. If, during childhood, emotional needs weren’t adequately met or were suppressed, these unmet needs could manifest in adulthood as a reliance on objects (in this case, chocolate) to fill the void.
Here, chocolate is more than a treat — it’s a surrogate. When we can’t engage fully with our feelings or when our emotional expression feels too overwhelming, we project our desires for love, connection, or validation onto the chocolate. The act of eating becomes a proxy for emotional intimacy, and our attachment to it becomes hard to break.
The Psychoanalytic View: Why We Can’t Feel Our Feelings
The inability to truly feel our feelings — or even identify them — may stem from a psychological defense mechanism known as repression. Repression is a mental process where painful or anxiety-inducing thoughts and emotions are pushed out of conscious awareness. If, during formative years, we weren’t taught how to process or express emotions healthily, our internal worlds may become cluttered with unacknowledged feelings.
In these instances, chocolate becomes a way to avoid facing emotional pain or confusion. It’s easier to satisfy hunger or indulge in a sweet treat than it is to sit with the discomfort of emotional vulnerability.
Jacques Lacan, a later psychoanalyst, discussed how the „mirror stage“ of development shapes our sense of self. When a child first recognizes themselves in the mirror, they start to understand themselves as distinct individuals. However, Lacan also argued that this process is not without its disruptions. The disconnection we feel from our true selves — or the fragmented sense of who we are — might lead to us seeking external comforts, such as food, to fill the gap.
Breaking Free: Reconnecting with Feelings and Reclaiming Control
So how do we stop turning to chocolate every time our emotions become too complicated? The first step is acknowledging the underlying emotional triggers and what chocolate represents in our emotional landscape.
1. Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices to increase your emotional awareness. Start paying attention to how you feel in the moment, not just physically, but emotionally. Journaling can be a helpful tool to explore your feelings without judgment.
2. Psychotherapy: Talking to a psychoanalyst or therapist can help you unravel the reasons behind your emotional numbness. By exploring your past relationships, you can start understanding where the emotional patterns and reliance on chocolate might have formed.
3. Savoring Small Pleasures: Instead of using chocolate to numb or avoid feelings, try savoring it in moderation as a conscious act of pleasure, rather than a tool for escape. This might sound counterintuitive, but it helps shift the mindset of indulgence to a mindful experience, where you’re in control, not the chocolate.
4. Alternative Coping Mechanisms: Exploring other methods of coping with difficult emotions, such as physical activity, creative expression, or meditation, can replace the role that chocolate plays in emotional regulation. It’s about discovering new ways to deal with the discomfort rather than retreating to a familiar, though temporary, solution.
Conclusion
Chocolate may be a sweet temporary solution to emotional turmoil, but it is not the answer. As we explore the psychoanalytic theories of Freud, Klein, and Lacan, we begin to understand that our relationship with chocolate may be a reflection of deeper emotional needs and unresolved conflicts. To break free from this cycle, we must embark on a journey of emotional discovery, mindfulness, and healthier coping strategies. Only then can we stop using chocolate as a crutch and begin to taste the sweetness of emotional growth.
Literature References:
• Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle. SE, 18:1–64.
• Klein, M. (1946). Notes on Some Schizoid Mechanisms. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis.
• Lacan, J. (1977). Écrits: A Selection. Norton & Company.