The Hunger of the Soul: Why We Sometimes Feel Empty Inside

Hunger isn’t just about food. Psychoanalysis teaches us that we can feel a deep emotional and psychic hunger — a sense that something inside is missing, unavailable, or not safe to rely on. This kind of hunger leaves us feeling empty, critical of ourselves, and starved for connection, even if life seems abundant on the outside.

1. What Feeds the Mind? The Idea of Good Internal Objects

Melanie Klein called good internal objects the mental images or memories of people who cared for us reliably — often early caregivers. These objects help our mind feel secure and nourished. When they are missing or unreliable, the mind cannot process emotional experiences fully, leaving a hollow, hungry self.

Imagine trying to feel full, confident, or loved, but the inner “container” to hold these feelings isn’t there. That’s psychic starvation: the self looks complete on the outside but feels empty inside.

2. Emptiness and the Mask of Grandiosity

People who feel this internal hunger often show a paradox: they appear self-confident, competent, or even superior, yet inside they feel fragile, insecure, or hollow. They try to protect themselves through perfectionism, control, or impressive displays, but these strategies only mask the inner emptiness.

Bion described this as the mind’s inability to transform raw emotional experiences into something meaningful. Even achievements or recognition cannot satisfy this hunger if the inner object is missing.

3. Hunger, Envy, and Aggression

Emotional hunger can fuel envy and destructive impulses. When the mind lacks internal nourishment, it may attack or resent the goodness in others — not to gain it, but to destroy it. This can make relationships difficult and isolate the person further, reinforcing the feeling of emptiness.

Norwegian literature reflects this vividly: characters who try to appear “full” and self-sufficient often pay a high price. Their inner hunger persists despite external success or validation.

4. How Therapy Can Help

In therapy, the analyst acts as a temporary good internal object, offering a space where the patient can experience reliability, care, and containment. The work involves internalizing nourishment: learning to tolerate frustration, process envy and shame, and develop inner resources that provide psychic sustenance.

Over time, patients can gradually feed themselves emotionally from within, reducing the constant need for external validation and the destructive patterns of envy and aggression.

5. The Takeaway

Emotional hunger is a signal, not a failure. It tells us that the mind needs safe, nourishing experiences to develop internal security. By creating or internalizing good objects — through relationships, reflection, and therapy — we can turn emptiness into fullness, isolation into connection, and envy into creativity and love.

References (for further reading):

• Klein, M. (1957). Envy and Gratitude and Other Works 1946–1963. London: Tavistock.

• Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from Experience. London: Heinemann.

• Hamson, L. (2018). [Title in Norwegian]. Oslo: [Publisher].

• Ogden, T. H. (1994). The Analytic Third: Working with Intersubjective Clinical Facts. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 75, 3–19.

• Meltzer, D. (1988). The Apprehension of Beauty: The Role of Aesthetic Conflict in Development, Art, and Violence.Perthshire: Clunie Press.