Technological Selves and Digital Life: What It Means for Our Inner World

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Today, technology and digital devices aren’t just tools we use — they’re part of how many of us experience ourselves and the world. For young people especially, identity is shaped not only by relationships with family and friends but also by the constant presence of social media, online profiles, and digital images.

This means our sense of self is changing. Instead of being one “natural” person, many experience themselves as partly connected to digital versions — avatars, selfies, online personas — that exist in spaces beyond the physical world. These digital selves are not just copies but become part of who we are.

When the “Real” Self Feels Mixed with the Digital

Traditional ideas of the self involve being present in our bodies, feeling emotions, and relating face-to-face with others. But now, many people—especially teens and young adults—relate to others through screens and online profiles. Experiences are sometimes shared instantly, but not deeply remembered or felt.

This can be confusing and unsettling. The question psychoanalysis explores is: How does living in a digital world change how we think, feel, and understand ourselves?

Digital Selves as “Transitional Objects”

Psychologist Donald Winnicott described “transitional objects” — things like a child’s favorite blanket or toy — that help us move from relying fully on our parents toward being independent. Today, some digital things like avatars or social media profiles can act like these transitional objects. They help us feel connected when real-life relationships feel hard or scary.

But unlike a blanket, these digital selves are kept alive, updated, and curated constantly. This can create challenges: sometimes digital spaces help us feel safe and connected, but other times they might keep us from fully engaging with the real world.

How Technology Changes Our Feelings and Attention

Our minds are shaped by how we use technology. Notifications, likes, and messages can demand our attention nonstop, leaving us feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. Instead of hiding feelings deep inside, sometimes we feel flooded or disconnected.

For some, this leads to new kinds of stress — burnout, feeling distracted, or having trouble staying emotionally present. The unconscious mind—the part of us that works below awareness—is still active, but in new ways, influenced by digital life.

Cultural Differences in Digital Life

How technology shapes us can depend on culture. In some cultures, identity is very connected to community and relationships, so being included or excluded online feels very intense. In others, individual independence is emphasized, which can create a different kind of pressure to perform online.

Psychoanalysis tries to understand these differences without judging one way better than another. Instead, it helps people understand how their culture and digital experiences influence how they feel and relate.

What Does This Mean for Therapy?

If our sense of self is partly digital and partly physical, therapy also needs to adapt. The traditional setting — sitting together in a room — still matters a lot, but therapists also think about how to help people navigate between online and offline worlds.

Questions arise:

How do feelings and relationships change when part of them happen through screens?
Can therapy help people feel more grounded in their bodies and real relationships?
How do we support people who feel fragmented between digital and physical selves?

Therapy can be a safe space to explore these questions, helping people become more comfortable with the complexities of modern identity and relationships.

In Summary: Embracing Change with Care

The digital world isn’t going away — it’s part of how we live and relate now. This brings both new possibilities and new challenges for our inner lives. Psychoanalysis offers a way to understand these changes deeply, helping people build connection, meaning, and a sense of self that can hold both the real and digital parts of life.

Whether you’re curious about how technology affects you or seeking support with these feelings, therapy can offer a space to explore and grow.

References and Further Reading

Donald Winnicott, Playing and Reality (1971)
Bernard Stiegler, Technics and Time (2011)
Anthony Lemma, The Digital Age on the Couch (2017)