Projective Identification: How We “Send Out” Feelings and Learn to Receive Them

Have you ever noticed that sometimes your emotions seem to spill out onto others, or you feel that someone else is carrying your feelings without even realizing it? Psychoanalysis calls this process projective identification. It’s a way our minds try to handle emotions that feel too big, scary, or confusing to manage alone.

1. Sending Out Feelings: Projective Identification as a Defense

Imagine carrying a heavy emotional weight you can’t bear. One way the mind protects itself is by “sending” parts of that feeling into someone else—your partner, friend, or therapist. Melanie Klein first described this as a way babies protect themselves from unbearable anxiety by projecting feelings into their caregivers.

Thomas Ogden later explained that this isn’t just about defense—it’s how our mind temporarily “moves” emotions out to survive. But it can distort reality: the person receiving the projection may feel unfairly pressured or accused, because they are experiencing feelings that aren’t truly theirs.

2. Projective Identification as Communication

Ogden also taught that projective identification is a form of communication. Sometimes our feelings are too raw or confusing to put into words, so they show up in the people around us instead. In therapy, the analyst’s job is to receive and translate these unspoken messages, helping the patient understand and integrate them.

Think of it like sending an emotional postcard: the message is delivered, and someone else helps you read it clearly.

3. Sharing Space: Projective Identification and Relationships

Projective identification is not only about defense or communication—it’s also about how we relate to others. By “placing” parts of ourselves into someone else and seeing how they respond, we learn about ourselves and others.

This is how empathy and connection develop: temporarily merging with another person helps us differentiate self from other, building an internal world of reliable “inner objects” — the mental representations of people we trust and love.

4. The Analytic Field: Learning Through Relationship

Ogden highlighted that projective identification is central to therapy itself. In every session, both patient and analyst unconsciously exchange feelings. The therapist’s role is to hold, understand, and reflect back these projections, helping the patient reclaim parts of themselves and tolerate what once felt unbearable.

In therapy, the mind practices what it needs for real life: taking in difficult feelings, tolerating them, and learning that we can survive and even grow from them.

5. Why This Matters

Projective identification is a natural part of human experience. It’s how our minds cope with overwhelming feelings, communicate what cannot be spoken, and develop empathy and inner stability. When understood, it can transform what feels like conflict or confusion into connection, insight, and emotional growth.

References (for further reading):

• Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from Experience. London: Heinemann.

• Klein, M. (1932). The Psycho-Analysis of Children. London: Hogarth Press.

• Klein, M. (1946). Notes on Some Schizoid Mechanisms. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 27, 99–110.

• Ogden, T. H. (1979). On Projective Identification. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 60, 357–373.

• Segal, H. (1973). Introduction to the Work of Melanie Klein. London: Hogarth Press.

• Rosenfeld, H. (1971). A Clinical Approach to the Psycho-Analytic Theory of the Life and Death Instincts.International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 52, 169–178.