Avatars, Robots, and the Gaze: Understanding Psychoanalysis in a Digital World

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In today’s world, much of our life happens through screens, avatars, and digital tools. This changes how we experience ourselves and others—and it brings new questions for therapy. How do we understand people whose identities are shaped online? What happens when someone hides away from the world and only appears through a digital presence? How does therapy work when face-to-face contact is difficult or impossible?

The Importance of Seeing and Being Seen

Psychoanalysis is deeply connected to the idea of the “gaze”—how we see others and how we are seen. Interestingly, Freud’s original method didn’t rely on direct eye contact; in fact, he preferred to avoid being stared at during sessions because it might block deeper feelings from coming up.

Many cultures share stories about how looking or being looked at can bring pain or shame. In Japan, for example, some people experience such intense shame that they isolate themselves completely. These individuals, known as hikikomori, might stay inside their rooms for months or years, feeling that they are too ashamed to be seen in public.

When Being Unseen Becomes a Way to Survive

For some people, avoiding being seen is a way to protect themselves from emotional pain. Therapy with individuals who withdraw like this can be slow and delicate. At first, contact may happen online or through text, not in a traditional therapy room. The goal is to offer a safe space where they can gradually begin to feel okay about being noticed.

This “invisibility” is not just about personal feelings but also reflects cultural pressures and expectations. Avoiding school, work, or even turning on a webcam are ways some cope with these feelings.

How Digital Tools Can Help Bridge the Gap

Digital spaces like chat rooms, video calls, or even virtual avatars can provide an important “middle ground” for therapy. These tools can be like a modern version of a comforting object, helping people feel safe while they slowly reconnect with others.

However, just like a child eventually lets go of their favorite blanket, therapy also helps people move from relying only on digital masks to feeling more connected with their real selves and others—when they’re ready.

The Role of Avatars and Robots

Digital avatars—those online characters or profiles we create—are not fake. For many, they are ways to protect fragile parts of the self and to express feelings that are hard to show in person.

Psychoanalysis respects the need for these masks and helps explore the feelings underneath. Sometimes people believe their “true self” is too flawed or ugly to be seen. Therapy gently works with these fears, helping people find a way to be more comfortable with who they really are.

Challenges and Ethics of Therapy Online

Doing therapy online brings great possibilities but also challenges. Protecting privacy, maintaining trust, and keeping the therapy space safe are very important. Laws and ethical rules guide therapists to keep your information confidential—even when working through digital platforms.

Looking Ahead: Psychoanalysis and Digital Life

Technology will continue to shape how we relate and understand ourselves. Psychoanalysis aims to keep helping people feel heard, seen, and understood—whether through a screen or in person.

Therapists stay curious: How can digital tools help support healing and connection? When do these tools help, and when might they get in the way? These questions guide how therapy adapts in our modern world.

If You’re Struggling

If you or someone you know finds it hard to be seen or connect with others—whether in person or online—therapy might offer a safe space to explore these feelings. You’re not alone, and there are ways to work through shame, isolation, and the challenges of living in a digital age.

References for Those Interested

Freud, S. (1913). On Beginning the Treatment.
Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and Reality.
Kitayama, O. (2005). Inhibition and the Japanese Psyche.
Lemma, A. (2020). Digital Technology and the Analytic Space.
Midgley, N. et al. (2021). Remote Psychotherapy: A Rapid Evidence Assessment.
Kawai, H. (1996). Dreams, Myths, and Fairy Tales in Japan.
Borovoy, A. (2008). Japan’s Hidden Youths.